


Indulgences

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [44]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Post-Series, Romance, This is a love story, jealous!alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:08:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24512845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: Alec and Ellie deal with the aftermath of The Kiss.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Domesticated [44]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550554
Comments: 45
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all -  
> Hope everyone is safe and healthy. I debated for awhile about whether or not it made sense to post right now, all things considered, my country being on literally fire and all. But after speaking to a few people it seems that the comfort I took in writing this during all the upheaval might be similar to the comfort you all could take in reading it. And maybe that's needed. So, I'm posting it. It's largely angst-free and I hope will be a welcome comfort right now. 
> 
> Stay safe and take care of yourselves.

This summer, Alec Hardy has decided to lean fully into what has been so far deemed as “Dad Mode.”

If people are going to keep making Dad jokes about him – (it should be noted that Alec Hardy believes a Dad joke is a joke about a dad, and not a joke made _by_ a dad) – he’s going to turn things around so that the joke is on _them_.

His new philosophy is due also in part to the fact that he has realized he now has everything he wants. There seems to be nothing new to strive for. He lives the life he never thought he could live. Has far more than he ever thought he would have. It’s time to enjoy living _inside_ that life, without striving for the next thing.

He wants to be a champion dad – cook all his children’s meals, show up to every academic _and_ extracurricular event, do whatever Dads and Lads things arise, teach them everything he knows. And he wants to be a prize husband – listen to everything his wife has to say, rub her feet, take her dancing, take care of her whilst being fully aware that she can just as easily take care of herself.

He is also going to build a porch swing.

At some point in developing his new philosophy, the porch swing has become the symbol of all things domesticity. He will build this porch swing if only to prove to himself that he can build a porch swing and when he is done he will build something else. He will be a Dad Who Builds Things. However many carpentry and construction YouTube videos it takes to get him there.

With Daisy gone for the month of June, Alec decides he will have more time than ever. (This is fallacy of course, for the children who take up most of his time are the ones that are still present and needy as ever.) The first Saturday of Daisy’s absence, he rises early and spends the morning on the front lawn next to the porch with a massive pile of lumber and rope.

“Babe.”

Ellie emerges onto the porch with the baby on her hip. He looks up. For a moment she says nothing, just offers him a cringey grin. He can see that it’s meant to be a _supportive_ , _encouraging_ smile. But it’s much more of an “oh god what has he done” sort of vibe.

“……Tea?” She asks finally.

He nods his head and she disappears back inside. He wonders if she’ll make good on _her_ plan to do more gardening this summer. Smiling cheekily to himself he thinks this is something that can easily be made a game between them. (By game he means competition.) He’ll work out the details when he goes to bed tonight and stares at the ceiling for an hour.

*

The Yang case had been solved yesterday, with Kevin Yang having been found in Exmouth and the pool of blood in his flat attributed to his _cat_. Which ends up upsetting Ellie far more than if it had been a human being, somehow.

She hates when cases wrap on Fridays. This invariably means she has to go into CID on Saturday to finish up the paperwork.

She leaves the baby with Alec, after setting up her playpen outside so he can keep working on his godforsaken porch swing. Fred is at a playdate.

It’s nearing lunch time when Hal appears in her office doorway.

“Ellie.”

She looks up. Her heart rate rises. This is not a conversation she wants to have today. Or any day.

“Oughtn’t you to be at home with Jenny?” She asks. “It’s Saturday.”

“Few things to finish up,” he replies shiftily. “Then Jenny and I are off to her parents’ in Southampton for the weekend.”

“That’ll be nice.”

“Listen. Ellie.” He steps further in. He doesn’t need to close the door – there’s hardly anyone else around. “I wanted to apologize again. For the other night. I am utterly mortified.”

She simply looks back at him a moment, considering where she wants to take this.

“Have you told Jenny?”

They have an open marriage, it’s true, but something tells her this is different. Kissing your happily married boss, who is also a friend of your wife’s, seems outside the realm of functionality.

“…No. Not yet,” Hal answers. “Take it you’ve told Hardy.”

“Yes,” Ellie replies simply.

He pauses a moment. “…Is my job on the line?”

Ellie leans back in her chair. “For your job to be on the line I would have a file a harassment complaint.”

“…Are you going to?”

She breathes out. “No.”

Hal’s body seems to relax.

“But I’d really like to finish up here so I can get back home to my family, so if you don’t mind –“

“Right.” He nods sheepishly. “Of course. Sorry.”

“Have a good weekend, Hal.”

“Yeah.” He backs up toward the door. “You too.”

*

When Ellie gets home about an hour later, Fred is sitting on the steps of the front porch with his Marvel superhero figurines, playing quietly. Ellie raises an eyebrow at Alec as she slams the car door.

“Had a row with Ryan,” Alec explains, keeping his voice low. “Andrea brought him back 'round fifteen minutes ago.”

She approaches the playpen and lifts Aila out of it. “She say what about?”

“Nope.”

“I take it you’ve gotten nothing out of _him_.”

“Seems entirely uninterested in discussin’ it,” Alec replies. “Almost like it didn’t happen.”

“Fred, love,” Ellie says loudly, walking toward the steps.

Fred looks up impatiently. He is clearly unamused by the interruption.

“D’you want to tell me what happened with Ryan?”

“No,” Fred answers easily, turning back to his Aquaman.

Ellie turns to Alec and makes a face. He returns it.

With a sigh, she says to Alec, “I’ll go nurse the baby and put her down.”

“Gonna come put your gardenin’ gloves on after?” He smirks.

She frowns at him. “We’ll see.”

*

Twenty minutes later, she returns wearing jeans and a tank top with her old trainers, her hair swept up messily in a ponytail. She carries her gardening gloves and a box of gardening tools, deftly dodging Fred’s toys on the steps, and places them on the ground on the other side of the path from Alec and the porch swing.

“Ha!” She says triumphantly. “Get ready.”

“I’ve got this whole seat part built,” Alec replies to her, just as triumphant.

She walks over, inspecting his work. “Hmmm…so you do.”

The look of satisfaction on his face is purely adorable. He’s a bit sweaty and untidy in his t-shirt and running trousers. His hair a bit mussed. Suddenly she’s wildly turned on by him.

“Not bad,” she says, lowering onto her knees behind him. She slings her arms over his shoulders from behind and squeezes him. “Not bad at _all_.” She nips at his earlobe. “Very sexy all like that, Mr. Builder Man.” She begins kissing his neck.

“Oh I like _this_ ,” he says, toes curling a bit. And then, “You forgot to bring the baby monitor with you.”

She pauses. “I’ve got my bloody tongue in your ear and all you have to say is – “

“Sorry, sorry. More tongue please.”

She whacks him as she rises to her feet again. “Wanker.”

*

Ellie is down to nursing Aila only two or three times a day now. The more solid foods she eats, the less nursing is necessary. It’s less about nutrients and more about pure comfort now. It puts Aila to sleep, calms her when she’s upset, and is typically the first thing she demands when she wakes up in the morning. This being her last child, Ellie is determined to nurse her for a good while. With Fred, she’d stopped too early (in her own opinion), thinking that it would be more difficult in the DI position she had been gunning for. But now that she finally _is_ a DI, she finds she has more freedom and more privacy, actually, and it helps that her immediate supervisor is also the father of her child. Much as she’d loved to give up the pumping of breast milk, it’s worth it for the calm and comfort nursing gives them both. And Alec helps her quite a bit on that score anyway. A very convenient kink if she does say so herself.

“El, our reservation’s in twenty minutes.”

Alec walks past the bed fastening his tie. She’s lying back against the headboard with her wrap dress half-open, nursing the baby.

“I can’t say no to her,” Ellie explains helplessly. Aila had started pulling her neckline down to get at her breasts five minutes earlier, and Ellie had been powerless against her.

“Chloe will be here any minute.” Home from university for the summer, the Hardys had quickly booked Chloe in advance for a number of child-minding dates over the next few months, in the hopes that booking a sitter would remind them to go out more and hold them accountable to it.

Ellie jerks a bit when Aila accidentally sinks her three teeth into her nipple. “She won’t be much longer. She’s not sleepy so I suspect she was just feeling a bit clingy.”

“She knows we’re goin’ out.”

She looks down at the baby, whose big eyes have been staring up at her all the while. “Probably. She’s just that clever.” Aila grips tightly to the fabric of Ellie’s dress. “I know, baby, it’s all right.” Then she glances over at Alec, studying him. “You should shave your neck.”

He frowns. “What?”

“Getting a bit…unkempt.”

He turns to her. “You like me unkempt.”

“Not _that_ unkempt. Bit much."

He groans and pads into the loo. “What if I told _you_ to shave your legs?”

“First of all, it’s summer, I shave my legs every other bloody day,” she retorts. “Second, it’s not the same and you know it’s not the same.”

“Yes, I forgot.” She hears the electric razor switch on and he raises his voice above the noise. “Women are allowed to rag on men’s appearances as much as they bloody well please, but men aren’t allowed to say one single thing about women.”

Aila tips her head back and looks up at her, signaling that she’s finished off the left breast. Ellie switches her to the other side.

“Do you really want to have this argument right now? As we embark upon our so-called romantic evening out?” Ellie calls back.

The razor switches off and he appears in the doorway. “Better?”

“Much. Thank you.”

The longer he looks at her from the doorway, the more his irritation falls away. The sight of her breastfeeding Aila has always made him a bit weak, always flooded his heart with warmth. He’ll miss it too, when she stops. It overwhelms him so much that he does not even smile at them. He forgets.

The doorbell rings.

“I’LL GET IT!!!!!” Fred yells at the top of his lungs. Clearly perfectly thrilled to be saddled with the babysitter for the evening.

Ellie, meanwhile, has gone bright pink under Alec’s unwavering gaze. Aila tips her head back and grins at him upside down. In this moment, he loves absolutely everything, even the things that he hates.

“All right, sweet bug,” Ellie coos, sitting up and readjusting herself. “If you’re pulling faces at Daddy that means you’re good and done.” She lays Aila on the bed and fixes herself.

Aila kicks her legs like an actual bug that’s been tipped over. She rolls onto her stomach and starts crawling down the bed. Alec scoops her up before she makes it to the edge and kisses her all over until she giggles uncontrollably.

“She’s just eaten, you’ll make her sick,” Ellie points out, but she’s smiling.

After rattling off a few basic instructions to Chloe, they say goodnight to the little ones and get on their way.

Their destination is a new Italian restaurant on the outskirts of town. It’s always a thrill when something new opens up in Broadchurch. A break from the old standbys.

The hostess sits them at a two-top in the middle of the dining room. Alec _hates_ sitting in the middle of a crowded restaurant, it makes him feel “at sea,” as he says. People bustling around him, winding through the tables. Hearing other peoples’ conversations, seeing what _they_ ordered. He finds it all to be a very _public_ experience and not at all his idea of a lovely evening out with his wife. But there are no other tables and an utterly ravenous Ellie gives him a look that clearly says _don’t make this a thing._ He knows better than to cross her when she’s hungry.

The hostess leaves them at the two-top and they immediately, without discussing it, rearrange the table. Though they vowed long ago never to be the nauseating sort of couple that sits on the same side of the table, they do prefer to at least be _adjacent_ rather than across. Intimate without being obnoxious, Ellie says. She moves her chair over and he helps shift her table settings, then they sit.

Alec puts his reading glasses on. They pick up their menus and study them, curious to see what this new place has to offer. Alec peruses the wine list first while Ellie is scouring the appetizers.

“Should we get a bottle?” He asks.

“Mm, you choose,” she replies.

“Depends on what we’re ordering of course.”

She snorts. She’s never paid any mind to what wine should be drunk when and with what. She’s never experienced anything different about drinking white wine with fish or with red meat.

Her snort is enough for him to let that go. “There’s a ’98 Sauvignon Blanc that looks promising.”

“Fine,” Ellie replies noncommittally.

Their server appears at the table. A familiar face.

“Mandy!” Ellie exclaims.

She seems just as surprised. “Mr. and Mrs. Hardy,” Mandy says. “Nice to see you.”

“Didn’t know you were working here, sweetheart.” Ellie touches her arm. “How do you find it?”

Mandy lowers her voice. “It’s my dad’s restaurant actually. A pretty safe place for me to learn the ropes.”

Ellie’s mouth pops open in surprise. “Paul Kane is a _restauranteur?_ ” She says with a laugh. “I’d never have believed it.”

“I’ll send him over to say hello at some point,” Mandy says. “How’s Daisy doing in Sandbrook? I miss her already.”

“Only been a few days but it feels like a century,” Alec admits. “She’s gettin’ on fine.”

“Reckon she and her mum will be at each other’s throat before long,” Mandy says with a cringey smile. Then she looks embarrassed. “I mean – “

But both Alec and Ellie chuckle. “Right you are,” Ellie replies.

Mandy goes on to explain the menu, share her favorite dishes, and make some recommendations. Ellie orders them the Fritto Misto di Mare appetizer and Alec orders the ’99 Sauvignon Blanc, then Mandy scurries away.

“Calamari?” Alec says, glancing at the menu.

“ _Fried_ calamari,” Ellie replies with an excited grin.

“Could have ordered me the bruschetta.”

“Want you to try the calamari. Have you ever _had_ calamari?”

He grumbles. “It’s fried.”

“Just a little breading, not like going to the chippie for god’s sake. This is a high end establishment,” Ellie retorts. “Be grateful I didn’t order the Lobster Risotto.”

He looks at the menu. “How is that an appetizer?”

“I’ve no idea.”

Mandy returns with their bottle of wine and pours them both a glass before walking away again.

Alec holds up his glass. “To the perfect curve of your nose.”

She raises hers. “To your freshly shaven neck.”

They clink glasses with a smile. Several months back, as a joke, they’d taken to complimenting each other in their toasts. It’s since become a strange little habit.

Ellie crosses her legs, turning toward him to keep from bumping her legs on the table, and he places a hand on her knee as they both pick up their menus again.

“Some nice-looking salads,” he comments.

“What is a _bread salad_?!”

He looks up at her over his menu. “You’re goin’ to get it, aren’t you.”

“Oh abso _lutely._ ”

He hides his smile behind the menu and strokes her knee with his thumb. The joy she finds in food is not _quite_ contagious to him but it _is_ endearing.

“Christ, I want it all,” Ellie says with a Fred-like whine.

“We live fifteen minutes away,” Alec reminds her. “We _can_ come back you know.”

“What will _you_ have?” She picks up her wine glass again.

“The Butternut Squash Tortelloni, I think,” he replies, eyes still scanning the menu.

She finds it. “You do like a parmesan cream, don’t you.”

He glances at her over the rim of his glasses. “I do.”

“Thinking about the Osso Buco. Mandy did recommend it.”

“Mandy’s an eighteen-year-old girl benefitting from nepotism,” Alec replies skeptically.

“Doesn’t mean she doesn’t know good food when she tastes it, god, you’re such a snob.”

He grunts, taking a sip of wine. “Thought you might go for the short rib.”

“Eh.” She shrugs. “You know I’m fickle about polenta.”

“Ah, right.”

He recalls the time he made it for her and she’d picked at it for nearly an hour. Eventually she’d claimed to be full and he’d called her out on it – she’s never _not_ cleaned her plate entirely in his presence.

“Yes, the Osso Buco, I think.”

She puts her menu down and pushes it away, then leans back in her chair holding her glass, observing him with a smile. Sensing her eyes on him, he puts his menu down as well.

“Yes?”

“Quite handsome tonight,” she says.

He straightens his spine. “Oh?” He demurely takes a sip of his wine and she laughs.

“Coy is such a bizarre look on you.”

“You’re the one who blushes at the slightest bit of attention,” he points out.

She lightly kicks his shin with her foot. Mandy returns to take their order. Ellie orders the Panzanella salad and the Osso Buco. Alec orders the Tre Colore salad and the Butternut Squash Tortelloni.

“Your appetizer will be out in just a minute,” Mandy tells them before disappearing again.

“Sweet girl,” Ellie comments.

“Mm.” He’s very busy staring at his own wife’s legs. “I forgot how much I like summer.”

She laughs. “ _What_?”

“Get to see so much more of you.”

His hand slides up to her thigh. She quickly uncrosses her legs and sits up straight, glancing around as her cheeks grow bright pink.

“ _Alec_.”

He sits back, victorious. “I knew I could get you to blush on command.”

She kicks his shin again. “Knob.”

“Can a man not admire his wife’s attributes?”

“Not before the _antipasti_ ,” she laughs.

He sips his wine. “How was the office this mornin’?”

“Fine.” She holds onto the base of her glass and glances around the restaurant curiously.

Alec clears his throat. “…Anyone else, um. Around?”

Her eyes meet his sharply. “I know what you’re asking.”

“Then answer.”

She sighs and takes a sip of her wine. “I did see Hal this morning.”

Alec shifts in his chair and finishes off his glass of wine.

“He just popped in to apologize again,” Ellie explains, fatigued of the whole thing.

Alec scoffs.

“What?”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s all,” he retorts.

“He feels awful,” Ellie insists. “Truly.”

“Or he’s just inventing excuses to talk to you.”

“He doesn’t _need_ to invent excuses, we _work_ together, Alec.”

“I’m just saying that – “ He refills his glass of wine and tops off hers in the process. “That the man is clearly _enamored_ of you and we can’t expect that’s going to go away any time soon.”

“So then what do you suggest we do?”

Mandy arrives with their calamari.

“Enjoy!”

Ellie immediately digs in. Alec simply watches her, continuing his thought.

“Well I’d like to sack the bloke,” he says. “But since you won’t _let_ me – “

“It’s cruel to fire him over this,” Ellie says, stabbing a piece with her fork. “You of all people should know how hard it is to have feelings for someone you cannot have. It’s not his _fault_.”

He resents the comparison. “It’s not his fault he has feelings for you, but it _is_ his fault he kissed you.”

Ellie dips a piece of calamari in the aioli and holds her fork out to him. “Try this.”

He hesitates, then decides it’s not worth resisting her. He bites it off her fork.

“Good, yeah?”

He nods, assessing the flavors and the textures as he chews. “’s all right.”

She rolls her eyes and goes back to eating it herself. After a moment, he picks up his own fork and gets himself another bite.

“See?” She says, enormously pleased.

“What is this, lemon garlic something?” He points his fork at the aioli.

Ellie smiles. “Mmhm.”

“Good.” He puts his fork down. “Anyway, what I mean is – “

“Alec.” With an exhale, she puts her fork down. “I have to tell you I’m becoming quite exhausted of all this. I’ve become a sort of receptacle for male brooding and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it all. I feel I’ve been very patient – with _both_ of you – because I understand what a delicate situation this is but as the person in the middle of it all – and the person who was on the receiving end of a kiss she neither wanted nor sought, a kiss from a man she considered a _friend_ – I’d really like to just move on.”

Alec stares into his glass for a moment. When he looks up, he appears surprisingly contrite. “Sorry.”

She simply stares at him.

“Haven’t asked you how you’ve felt about all this, not once,” he admits, turning toward her again.

Her eyes widen a bit. She had not expected the conversation to shift this way. “Oh. Well. Are you asking me _now_?”

“Yes.” He glances down a bit guiltily.

“It was a bit weird, if I’m being honest,” Ellie says, putting her fork down. “Not been kissed by anyone but you in years. Never expected to be kissed by anyone but you ever again.” Alec reaches over and takes her hand, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. “In some ways I feel just as betrayed as you seem to. Hal’s my friend. He well knows that I’m happily married and for him to put me in that position…just bloody _rude_ , frankly.”

He nods, waiting quietly to see if she has more to say. That’s the least he can do now.

“It’s not a huge deal to me,” she continues. “I’m not angry at him and I don’t feel _traumatized_ or anything. Just annoyed more than anything else. Annoyed that this is something we all have to bloody grapple with now. And keep discussing when there are a hundred other things you and I could be talking about on this little date night I’ve been looking forward to for what feels like ages.”

Alec brings her hand to his lips and kisses her fingers. “Sorry, love.”

As he turns her hand over and kisses the inside of her palm, she says, “Don’t ever want to be kissed by anyone but you.”

Mandy approaches the table. “…God, you two are so cute.”

Ellie and Alec turn to look at her.

“Sorry. How’s everything so far then?”

Ellie chuckles a bit. “Delicious, Mandy, thank you.”

“Good.” She turns on her heel with a smile and walks away.

“Now.” Ellie gently pulls her hand away. “Are you going to eat that last one or am I?”

The trouble, for Alec, with being “alone” with his wife in a public place is that he always seems to become seized by a powerful need to be _truly_ alone with her. It’s so easy for him to ignore the people surrounding them because there is something about her that is so wildly compelling to him. All he wants is to hold her, touch her, feel every part of her. He’s his most honest self when he’s with her and he hates for anyone else to witness it. It’s only for her.

Ellie does not appear to have this problem. She thrives on the energy of the people around her, even when she barely interacts with them. She’s happy to be out in the world with her husband, to have the strength and intimacy of their relationship observed and remarked upon. She considers them to be a good example. She’s proud of what they have. They worked hard for it.

Just after Mandy serves their salads and removes the appetizer dish, both of their mobiles buzz. Ellie gets to hers first.

“Chloe,” she says. “ _Can Aila have sliced grapes?_ ”

Alec smirks at her. “Only if they’re seedless.”

Ellie shakes her head and types back: **Better not. If she’s hungry you could slice up a banana.**

She drops the mobile bag into her purse and they dig into their salads.

“Sometimes I can’t believe she’s already into real human food,” Alec says. “Fruit? Cheerios? Not _my_ wee lass, not possible.”

“I know,” Ellie replies. “She’s so tiny, how can she eat a _banana_? It’s more than half her size!”

He pushes the vegetables around with his fork. “How long d’you think you’ll breastfeed her?”

Ellie tips her head back and forth thinking about it. “Awhile. Unless she goes off it on her own, which could happen. But if she doesn’t, I think I’ll probably wean her around age two. Becomes quite difficult after that.”

Alec nods. “Right, good.”

“Tom was about two and a half, he was just awful to wean. Miserable,” she explains. “So that went on too long and then Fred got the short stick around thirteen months and that felt too short. So two feels right, if it feels right to her.”

He nods again and then, with a stab to some lettuce, says, “Imagine kissing a married woman with a _baby_ , a woman who’s still bloody _nursing_.”

She stares at him warningly.

“Sorry.” He takes a bite.

“ _You_ kiss a married woman with a baby every day,” Ellie replies, pulling a face at him. “Often _while_ she’s nursing.”

“’s cause she’s _my_ married woman and _my_ baby.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Ellie lowers her fork and looks at him thoughtfully. “Do you think you and Hal ought to have some sort of…come to jesus, as it were?” He keeps his eyes on his salad. “You still have to work together after all. And Jenny is still our friend, even if you’re uncomfortable with Hal now. Perhaps you ought to get into it with him, say your peace, let him say his. You might feel better.”

“Don’t think that would go well.”

“ _Make_ it go well,” she insists. “Be the bigger man. Which you are. In _many_ ways I suspect.” She quirks an eyebrow at him saucily.

He cracks a smile. “Dunno, El.”

“Show him how secure you are in our relationship. That you’re not threatened – “

He frowns. “Why would I be threatened?!”

“You _wouldn’t_ be, that’s the point,” she tells him. “Tell him you forgive him so long as he swears never to do it, or anything like it, ever again. There’s power in that. Strength.”

He bites a bite. “I’ll think on it.”

There’s a short lull once they finish their salads and Mandy whisks their plates away. Alec refills both of their wine glasses. They stay quiet for a moment, observing the décor of the brand new restaurant, listening to diners around them, relishing the freedom of just being together outside of work or home. Alec reaches for her hand, just to hold it, and Ellie briefly reflects upon her gratitude for how far he’s come over the last two years. Holding her hand in a crowded restaurant…that took ages of hard emotional work on his part and patience on hers. She smiles at him, kicking off her sandal and flexing her foot against his under the table.

Mandy arrives with their entrees and sets them down. Ellie is _ecstatic_ when she looks down at her Osso Buco.

“ _Thank you_ ,” she says enthusiastically, making a face of pure childlike wonder.

He nudges her foot and smiles.

Once they’ve taken the time to properly appreciate the meals before them, Ellie reaches for her wine glass and asks, “Should we go on holiday this summer?”

“…’s _already_ summer,” he replies, unprepared for this line of questioning.

“Then we’d better make up our minds,” she says matter-of-factly. “Might be nice you know. Go somewhere with Daisy before she leaves us. I suspect the baby is a better traveler now as well.”

“Hm.” He mixes his tortelloni around. “Still payin’ off the honeymoon and all. Just bought that jacuzzi, plus everythin’ that’s goin’ into Daiz and uni.”

Ellie nods. “True. But it need not be extravagant. Frankly could just go up to the Glasgow house for a week or two.”

Alec nods slowly. “Possible.”

“Or we could rent a house in the Highlands. You’ve been saying you wanted to give me and the kids a proper Scotland tour.”

“Well, Daiz’ll be spendin’ plenty of time there in the next four years,” Alec replies.

“Yes, but how much nicer for her to spend four years in Edinburgh having had the full treatment beforehand.”

“Possible,” he says again.

“Let’s make a decision soon, yeah?” Ellie says. “We’re already behind in terms of making arrangements if we don’t want to be stuck with the dregs.”

He takes a bite, staring through the water pitcher thoughtfully. “Nice thing to have to decide, isn’t it.”

“Sorry?” She glances at him only briefly before turning back to her plate.

“Nice to have the option,” he explains. “To have the sort of life that we have.”

“Privilege, you mean?” She furrows her brows.

“No. Well, yes, yes, that, but I mean more that this is our life now, together. We get to go on family holidays.” He looks down into his glass. “Didn’t think I’ve ever have a…family holiday sort of life.”

“You went on holidays with Daiz and Tess surely.”

“Not regularly,” he replies. “And not like this. A big old caravan of us. Six Hardys hittin’ the open road.”

Ellie laughs. “You make it sound like a National Lampoon film.”

He blinks at her. “A what?”

“Nevermind.” She takes another bite. “God this is so good.” She moans with pleasure and leans back in her chair, sated.

His eye twitches. “Stop that.”

“Stop what,” she replies with a contented sigh.

“Don’t be all sexy like that while we’re eatin’.”

She sits up and looks at him, biting her lip to suppress her laughter.

“Ah, stop that,” he says again.

“ _What_?”

“That thing you’re doin’ with the…you know, with your lip.”

She leans forward and picks up her wine glass, trying to cover her amused smile. She takes a sip then swirls the liquid around.

“ _Ellie_.”

“God’s sake, what!” She exclaims with a laugh. “Is this sexy too?”

“Bloody well is.”

She sighs. “What shall I do instead?”

“Just…just eat normally, just, like a normal person.”

When she sits up, her wrap dress has become just a littlest bit loose, revealing more cleavage than Alec can currently handle. He bends toward her and gently adjusts the neckline for her. Then she laughs out loud.

“When exactly did you become so bloody horny?! We were just talking about a family holiday!” She says. “I didn’t realize butternut squash was such an aphrodisiac.”

He looks at her grumpily. “ _You’re_ an aphrodisiac.”

She shakes her head, blushing. “For heaven’s sake.”

Ellie has cleaned her plate by the time Mandy returns asking about dessert. Alec looks at Ellie expectantly. She always orders dessert.

“Gosh, I’m stuffed,” she says instead.

He stares blankly at her. Then turns to Mandy. “She’ll have the Tiramisu, to go.”

“I beg your pardon.”

He stays focused on Mandy, handing over their dessert menus. “She’ll want it later and find a way to blame _me_ if she doesn’t have it.”

Mandy laughs and walks away again. Ellie purses her lips and shakes her head.

“ _Cheeky_.”

Alec handles the cheque while Ellie finishes the last of her wine. He leaves Mandy a hefty tip. _At least 30%_ , Ellie insists. Alec carries her takeaway Tiramisu and they walk out of the restaurant arm in arm.

“Where to?” He asks once they reach the car, placing his hands on the steering wheel.

“Could go to the pub? Or the Trader’s,” Ellie suggests.

“Saturday night. Be packed in like sardines.”

“Right. Beach?”

“Teenagers with bonfires,” he replies. “Probably run into Tom.”

“Could go to the cinema.”

“Already 8:45.”

Ellie sighs heavily. Then he turns to her, bright eyed. “Cliffs?”

“Oh yes!” She clasps her hands together. “To that spot I like?”

He starts the car.

At the clifftops, a few metres from the edge, Alec gets the beach blanket from the boot of the car and spreads it out over the grass. It’s quiet there and dark but for the moon and starlight, plus the twinkling lights from the town below. Ellie slips off her shoes and sits on the blanket. Alec takes his suit jacket off and places it around her shoulders before sitting beside her.

“Chivalrous,” she comments.

He shrugs. “Eh, was gonna take it off anyway, you’re my coat hanger.”

Ellie rolls her eyes and collapses back on the blanket, taking a deep breath of fresh air. He lays back beside her.

“What a gorgeous night,” she says.

“Mm.”

“We don’t do this enough.”

“Do what?”

“Look up.”

He finds her hand, resting on her stomach, and turns it over, his fingertips dancing on her palm.

“We’re really quite lucky to live here actually,” Ellie tells him, gaze focused on the stars.

“Mmhm.”

“Don’t think I could ever live away from the sea. Or in a place where I couldn’t see the stars this clearly.”

“Then neither could I,” Alec replies easily. She turns her head and smiles. “The only place I could ever live is where you are.”

“Oh my god.” She looks at him incredulously. “You’re a lovely sort of tipsy, aren’t you.”

“Just drove a car!”

“You’re pleasantly pliable at the moment. Which means you're – “

He turns onto his side and props himself up on his elbow. “I _can_ be romantic without the help of _potent potables_ , you realize.”

She threads their fingers together, but otherwise does not turn to look at him. “I know, love,” she replies softly. “You’re very romantic.”

“Thank you very much,” he replies, gruff but sincere.

“Romance is a funny thing, isn’t it?” Ellie asks.

“Hm.”

“Well it’s entirely down to our perspective, no?” She turns her head to face him. “It’s whatever we decide it is. I for instance find it very romantic when you rub my feet without me asking.”

“Women’s footwear is not designed for comfort,” Alec replies very seriously.

“And when I catch you staring at me from across the conference room.”

“Well you’re even more beautiful in a group of people. You stand out.”

This makes her so weak she has to look away for a moment before returning to him.

“And when you wake up early with the baby so I can sleep.”

Alec scoffs a bit at that. “Happen to _like_ my early mornings with the wee one.”

“I am very lucky.” She rolls onto her side to kiss him softly, then lies back again.

His hand slips into her wrap dress, moving back and forth across her bare stomach. She closes her eyes and makes a quiet noise of appreciation.

“Should come here more often,” he says.

“You never want to,” Ellie points out.

“I’m a mad man.”

She grins. “That’s what I’ve been saying.”

His hand slides up her torso, drifting over her ribcage. She keeps her gaze on the night sky; she’s used to this sort of thing. To his hands roaming her body at will, without any particular goal. It’s _her_ body but she’s quite content to let him borrow it from time to time. She spots an airplane flying overhead as his hand moves to her breast. He keeps it there, mostly still, his thumb grazing back and forth.

This earns him a smirk from her. “Are you trying to shag me in the grass?”

“Just want to touch you,” he replies, mumbling distractedly, his eyes on her body.

Precisely what she thought he’d say.

He leans down and plants a kiss on her collarbone.

After a brief quiet, Ellie turns her head to him and asks, “What do you think normal couples do on date nights?”

He regards her quizzically. “Are we not a normal couple?”

“Do _you_ think we are?”

He’s frowning but he hasn’t moved his hand from her breast or given any indication that he might. “What’s not normal about us?”

“Since when do you care about joining the masses?” Ellie questions skeptically. “You and Tess were normal. Joe and I were normal.”

His hand moves between her breasts and lands there. It’s oddly possessive. “And what are _we_ exactly?”

“This is going to sound very superior,” she says. “And indulgent. But between you and me, I think it’s quite clear that we’re special. Lots of couples love each other, maybe even most couples do, but you and I…”

“It’s beyond that,” Alec says, beginning to understand.

“Yes.” She turns onto her side to face him. His hand remains in place. “It may surprise you to learn that most couples don’t shag four to five times a week.”

“Do we really?”

“Yes, Alec. We do.” She snorts. “And the fact that you’ve not noticed only proves my point. Because it’s _our_ normal.”

His expression is a bit smug. “Hm.”

“And most men are not content to spend hours of their waking life just _holding_ their wives. Just touching them.”

“Really?” He asks facetiously. “What on earth do they do instead?”

“I dunno, watch football or something.”

“Right, I’ll give that a go.”

Her leg curls around his. “I’m not saying we’re _better_ than other people – “

“Uh huh.”

“Just saying that we’re different. What we have is not _average_. We’re lucky,” she tells him. “And I say it so that we might always remember to be grateful for that.”

He finds himself smiling at her for a moment before he says, “That _is_ indulgent.”

Ellie chuckles, only slightly embarrassed. “Well, so what, you’re the only one here.”

“I love you,” he says.

“I love _you_.”

“Lucky us.”

*

They make it home around 10:30. To them it feels horribly late. Ellie still has Alec’s suit jacket on when they walk through the door. It hangs on her in a way that makes her feel held and protected somehow.

Chloe is watching telly in the living room. She switches it off when she hears them in the foyer and meets them there.

“How was your night?” Chloe asks. She smiles widely when she sees the jacket on Ellie.

“Lovely, thanks for asking,” Ellie answers. “How were our little monsters?”

Coming up behind her, Alec feels a warm sensation in his chest just hearing her ask the question.

“Oh, they were grand,” Chloe replies, gathering her things.

“Fred was? He’s been a bit of a challenge lately. You can be honest,” Ellie tells her.

“Yeah, fine, honest.” She slings her bag over her shoulder. “Chatty as usual. Bit…impatient with Aila, but nothing weird or anything.”

“She go down all right?” Alec asks.

“She’s a stubborn thing,” Chloe answers with a laugh. “But she wore herself out pretty quickly.”

“Good.” Alec hands her some cash from his wallet, then replaces it in his back pocket.

“Thank you so much, Chlo,” Ellie says, kissing her on the cheek.

“D’you need a ride?” Alec shoves his hands in his pockets and offers her his concerned Dad face.

“Nah, not going far, ta.”

“Well, mind yourself, love,” Ellie tells her, as they walk her to the front door.

Ellie turns off all the lights – save for the one in the foyer for Tom – and Alec makes sure all the doors and windows are locked. Then togerther they trudge up the stairs. They peek in on Fred, splayed out on his stomach with Rhino clasped to him. Then they check on Aila, passed out face down with her pacifier next to her open mouth.

“They sleep exactly the same,” Alec observes as they retreat to their bedroom.

Ellie gasps quietly at this realization. “Oh my god, they do.”

He closes the door behind her, then locks it. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?” He says, placing his hand on his hips.

“Could be a bit more subtle about it,” she replies saucily. “Act like it’s a done deal we’re about to have a shag.”

He meets her challenging gaze with one of his own. Then he kneels down and switches the sound machine on, doubling down.

“Ohohoho.” Ellie shakes her head, approaching him slowly. “Awfully confident there, Detective.”

“That’s _Chief_ to you, madam.”

With one eyebrow pointedly raised, Ellie swiftly unties her wrap dress, letting it fall open.

“Think I’ll call you whatever I like.”

He swallows. Then simply stares at her, chest rising and falling more and more rapidly.

“Where’s your confidence now then?”

He licks his lips once. Then rushes at her, pinning her against the wall. He kisses her hard, eliciting a moan from her, then kisses his way down her body in a frenzy, squeezing her breasts and her arse on the way down to his knees.

“Mm. Yes,” Ellie says coolly. “On your _knees_ …Chief.”

Alec can’t keep up with the game. He fell apart the minute she revealed herself. “Christ you are so fucking hot.” He yanks her knickers down, staring up at her like a dog on a leash.

She tangles her fingers in his hair then pulls at it. “Go on then,” she goads him. “Show me just how _lucky_ we are.”

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for your comments on the last chapter - truly glad to hear that it's a welcome respite during this incendiary moment in history. Hope you're all staying well and taking care of yourselves. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Also, I do plan to return to the requests, there's still quite a few left. I've just been appreciating disappearing into the comfort of this particular world for now.

He’s in the corner of the space. Not quite a room. The shape is amorphous. It’s unclear why he can’t move. Possibly he does not have legs.

A few feet away, on the bed, their bed, the sandy-haired man is on top of her. They’re both completely naked. Hal’s got more meat on him than he does, but otherwise he wouldn’t say he is _more_ attractive. But Ellie seems to like him. Ellie touches him all over. She writhes underneath him, purring like a cat.

Everything inside him is trying to lunge at them, to speak, to scream.

Hal rocks into her, gripping her thighs. His moves are smooth and he makes no noise though he seems to be sweating profusely. Ellie arches her back and closes her eyes, moaning with great satisfaction. Her nails dig into his shoulder blades.

“Ellie, Ellie, Ellie,” he gasps out reverently.

Alec feels his insides twist grotesquely inside him, hearing her name come out of his mouth that way.

She doesn’t say _his_ name. She says, “Yes, yes, yes.” Which is almost as bad. She says, “Don’t stop,” which is not one of her usual phrases. Perhaps because she never has to tell _him_ not to stop, he thinks smugly.

The room spins and disappears and for one second only he’s in his childhood bedroom. Then back again. The flash memory jars him, but he can barely process it before Hal walks in with a baby in his arms.

 _His_ baby.

Ellie waits for him in bed, half sitting up against the headboard, still completely naked. Hal puts the baby in her arms. It’s Aila, but younger. Three, four months old, maybe. A tiny infant. She’s wrapped in her blue blanket. Ellie begins to nurse her. Alec feels a bubble of anger burst inside him. This sight is only for him, this intimacy. Sure, Ellie nurses in public sometimes (less so these days), but not like this. Not exposed. Hal is just watching her, adoringly. Alec wants to tear his limbs off.

And then – oh no. No no no no no no.

Hal is crawling between her legs.

No.

His mouth is on her. He’s going down on her _while_ she’s nursing the baby.

Alec fights to move but it’s like he’s stuck in a cement block.

Ellie is holding the baby to her breast but whatever Hal is doing to her is making her rock and cry out.

Alec is screaming so hard he’s crying now.

The door to the amorphous space opens. He hadn’t seen a door before. Had there already been one?

Fred walks in, dragging Rhino along the floor.

Alec calls to him, wills him to stop.

Then he jerks up suddenly. He’s in his own bed, naked and sweating, panting. Ellie is beside him. She’s naked and half-covered by the duvet, face down. Peaceful. Things start to come back to him, pieces falling back into place. After they’d made love last night, they’d been too knackered and boneless to dress, they’d fallen asleep almost immediately. He picks up the video monitor on his nightstand. Aila is in her crib, sleeping on her stomach, just as she had been when they’d checked on her hours earlier.

Ellie rolls over. “Alec,” she murmurs drowsily. “What’s the matter?”

He’s nearly caught his breath now. “Bad dream.”

“Ohhh.” She sits up a bit against her pillow. “Water?”

“No.”

She holds her arms out to him. “Come to me, love.”

He folds himself into her arms and she lays him on her lap, facing up so he can look at her, see her eyes.

“What was it about?” She strokes his hair with one hand and rubs his chest with the other.

“Hal,” he chokes out. “You and Hal. Shaggin’ in our bed.”

Ellie’s eyes widen. “Oh, dear.”

“You liked it.”

“It was a dream,” she reminds him soothingly.

“The baby was there.”

She frowns. “What? In the bed?”

“In your arms. You were nursin’ her while he – he – “

“While he shagged me?!”

“Went down on you,” he clarifies, avoiding her gaze.

“Jesus,” she exhales. “Well, all right, it was just a dream and it’s all over now.” She rubs his forehead.

“’m not tryin’ to make it a thing,” Alec says. “I don’t _want_ to think about it, I’m not –“

“I know, love. I know.” Her hand rubs his chest, over his ribcage, his stomach.

“It shouldn’t be this traumatic.”

“But it is to you,” Ellie replies. “It’s all right. It’s fair to feel whatever you’re feeling.”

“’m sorry.”

“Shhh.” She yawns. “Sleep now.”

“Can’t sleep,” he grumbles. “Might see it again.”

“No, no, it’s long gone,” Ellie assures him. “Rest.”

She places her palm lightly on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of it. He finds her steady hand comforting. Her eyes close, but his do not.

“El, I can’t,” he tells her, pained.

“Shhh,” she whispers again. “I’ll take care of you. Close your eyes.”

He does. “Mmhm.”

“Breathe.”

He does. She listens. Then her hand drifts down, lower, lower. He nearly opens his eyes. But, as if she can sense it, she says, “Keep them closed.” He obeys. Her fingers curl around his cock and he lets out a quiet gasp.

“Relax.”

She’s still stroking his hair with her other hand as she cups his balls. She yawns again, but he doesn’t notice. The only thing that exists now is her right hand.

For Ellie, it’s lovely to stroke him to hardness like this. More often than not, he’s already hard by the time she touches him. This feels like something of a treat. Or maybe it’s just because she’s half-asleep. Now that he’s fully erect, she strokes him slowly, up and down. He reaches his arm back, contorting it around her waist to hold onto her, his hips rocking in time with her ministrations, moaning softly.

“I’ve got you,” she whispers.

She gives him exactly what he likes – slow, fast, then slow again. A bit of attention to his prostate. When she starts on fast, he turns into her, gasping into her bare stomach, and she massages his scalp with her free hand. She goes back to slow and he’s whimpering desperately, silently begging her to finish him. She focuses on the tip with her thumb until he’s absolutely coming apart, his whole body shuddering, and then she shatters him entirely. She feels _tears_ on her stomach as he comes.

“There we are.” She lets go of his cock and holds him against her, rubbing his back. “Rest now.”

He leaves a wet kiss next to her belly button then shifts as she slides down the mattress, arranging himself to lie beside her, head on her chest. She holds him tightly.

“Rest now,” she says again, drifting off herself.

In the morning, he’ll shower and she’ll change the sheets. But for now, he sleeps.

*

On Sunday morning, Alec is the last one out of bed. The early morning rain had lulled him into a deeper sleep. It’s still pouring when he trudges into the kitchen, dressed in jeans and a nice t-shirt. Fred and Tom have already finished their breakfast and are playing video games in the living room. Ellie is attempting to tidy up the kitchen, but the baby in her arms is a hindrance to this lofty goal.

He appears in the doorway.

“Well, good morning, he _lives_ ,” Ellie says brightly.

“Could’ve woken me,” he tells her, moving to the counter to switch the kettle on.

“What for? We’ve got nothing on today.”

Alec reaches for the baby. But the baby doesn’t budge. It’s then that he notices that she seems a bit off. She’s laying still on Ellie’s chest, head on her shoulder, eyes wide but glassy. Her little hand grips Ellie’s top.

“Bit peaky this morning,” Ellie says, rubbing Aila’s back. “Been like this a few hours now.”

Alec feels her forehead. “She got a temperature?”

“No, no. Doesn’t feel warm at all and I’ve checked her twice.” She kisses Aila’s head. “Perhaps a bit of a funny tummy, she hasn’t eaten much, but she’s not been vocal about it at all. Quiet as a church mouse. Won’t let me put her down.”

Alec is frowning deeply, observing the baby with his hands on his hips. “Not like her.”

“No. But we all have our days, don’t we.”

“Should take her to the doctor.”

Ellie shakes her head. “Not yet. See how she fares the rest of the day. If she’ll still off tomorrow, we’ll bring her in first thing.”

Alec tries to reach for her again, now feeling a desperate need to hold and soothe her. But Aila whines a bit and buries further into Ellie, refusing to let go of her top. Alec is not used to being spurned by his daughter this way.

“Don’t take it personally. Please,” Ellie begs him. “My tits are just cozier than yours and she’s already comfy where she is.”

But he does take it personally. Stroking Aila’s cheek, he says softly, “What’s the trouble, my sweet lass? Hmm? Daddy just wants to make it better.”

“She’s all right, love,” Ellie says firmly. “Let her be, yeah? She’ll come ‘round.”

The kettle whistles. Alec pops a teabag into a mug, pours the water, then exits the kitchen swiftly. Ellie sighs.

Alec pads into the living room blowing on his tea, hoping for a more enthusiastic reception from the boys. Fred is sitting on the back of the couch behind Tom, exactly like he knows he’s not supposed to. Alec will overlook this, though Ellie will not.

“How’re my two lads then?” He says, announcing his presence in the room.

Neither Tom nor Fred so much as turns a head.

“Good game?”

“SHHH, Daddy!” Fred hisses.

Alec nods to himself. He should’ve expected this. He makes his way to the front door, stepping out onto the porch. Perhaps this is in fact a level up in Dad Mode, he thinks. Doesn’t get quite more Dad than trying and failing to get your children’s attention.

He sits down on the porch steps and watches the rain fall.

After a few minutes, Ellie emerges with Aila. She carefully sits down two steps above him.

“Feeling rested?” She asks.

He glances up at her then back at his tea. “Yeah, fine.”

“No more nightmares, I presume.”

“No.”

“ _Gee, thanks for the late night handy, El, really did the trick._ Oh, not at all, my pleasure, love,” Ellie quips. She waits for him to respond and when she doesn’t, she continues, in a Scottish accent. “ _Och aye, lass, your hands are like magic, eh, you made me come like a bloody freight train, you did._ ”

He looks back at her with mild disdain. “ _Crass_.”

Ellie looks off in the distance. “How _would_ a freight train come, I wonder. Odd expression.” He’s still staring at her dubiously. “Just trying to get a smile out of you, pardon _me_.”

After a pause, he says, “You turned me into putty. My soddin’ _life_ was in your hands.”

She chuckles. “There we are then.”

He moves up the steps backwards until he’s beside her. “My brilliant wife.”

She leans over and kisses his shoulder. “Felt so awful for you, you were so shaken by the whole thing.”

“Prefer your hands over Sleepy Time Tea, tell you that.”

“Don’t be expecting one every night then.”

Alec leans forward and looks into Aila’s very neutral face. She blinks at him.

“You think it’s somethin’ she ate?” He asks. “Did you text Chloe?”

“I did, nothing out of the ordinary.”

Alec touches Aila’s face and she turns into Ellie’s chest and babbles. “Mummumumumumum.”

“It’s not _Mumma_ ,” Alec says quickly, referring to their unspoken competition.

“I _know_ it’s not.” Then she smiles wickedly. “But it’s a staaaart.”

*

Ellie decides to take the baby for a walk in the warm summer rain. Alec is opposed to this, but she will not be deterred. She straps Aila to her chest, grabs an umbrella, and sets off.

Alec remains on the porch steps for quite some time. Tom and Fred have no interest in him – Tom has put on his headphones and is playing video games with friends elsewhere and Fred has turned to his Legos. They love any excuse to stay inside and pursue their favourite hobbies and the rain has given them just that.

Alec, meanwhile, cannot pursue his. No construction projects in the rain. He has no other home improvement projects that are indoors at the moment.

He’ll have to…clean instead. Do laundry. Change sheets. _Dust_.

And he’ll do it. He will. Just…not yet.

He brings a book out and sits in his favourite porch chair. But it’s not long before he is disturbed.

An unfamiliar car pulls up in the drive, parking just behind his and Ellie’s cars respectively. Jenny gets out, opening an umbrella to shield from the rain.

“Let me guess,” she calls out. “Margaret Thatcher’s autobiography.”

Alec looks confused, then looks at the book and sets it down. “Ha, ha.”

She walks up the porch steps and closes her umbrella again, shaking it out.

“On your own?” Jenny asks.

“Boys inside. Ellie’s on a walk with the baby.”

“In this weather?”

Alec can only make a face in response. Jenny sits down in the chair beside him.

“Odd bird,” she says, of Ellie.

“Yes.”

They sit quietly for a moment, steeling themselves in anticipation of the conversation they both well know is about to take place.

Finally, Jenny exhales. “My husband’s really stepped in it this time, eh?”

Alec nods slowly without looking at her.

“Told me last night. At my bloody parents’ house in Southampton,” she tells him. “Drove back first thing this mornin’, left his sorry arse there.”

He turns to her now. “I feel like I should apologize to you but I’ve no idea why.”

She almost laughs. “I feel the same.” Looking down, she shakes her head. “But we’re the injured parties here."

“And Ellie,” Alec adds.

There’s a pause, but then Jenny nods. “…And Ellie.”

Jenny leans forward, elbows on her thighs, and looks down at the ground. Then she laughs suddenly. “Bit funny actually. Your wife has now kissed both me _and_ my husband.”

Alec looks at her, horrified. “How is that funny?!”

“C’mon, Alec. It’s a _bit_ funny.”

Relenting, he cracks a smile. But that’s as far as it goes. “How does it…work for you, you two, how does this…fit in with all your…”

“Ah, not well,” Jenny admits. “Difficult to mix an open marriage with friends. Especially our couple friends. _Especially_ one of our bosses.”

“Yeah, that _would_ complicate things.”

“When we first met you, when _Ellie and I_ …different then, you know? We were all together. She’d discussed it with you. We all still barely new one another, it was all just a bit of fun,” she explains.

“Right.”

Jenny wrings her hands together in her lap. “Had the whole drive on my own to think on it. How badly Hal must have _wanted_ it to have done it despite knowin’…I mean he _well_ knows that Ellie would never…that you two are…anyway. He knows she’d never have reciprocated. So whatever possessed him to do what he did…it’s a bit scary to me.”

“’s what I’ve been tryin’ to convey to Ellie,” Alec replies. “The _meaning_ behind the kiss is what worries me more than anythin’ else.”

“Me too.”

Then, as if to comfort her, he says, “Never shown any sign of it before. At work. Not that I saw anyway. Always friendly of course, he’s always gotten on with her, but never inappropriate. I mean, god’s sakes, he was there when her water broke. They’re _friends_.”

Jenny nods. “Somethin’ must have changed in him. I dunno. I’m as surprised as I reckon you are.”

“Took him a while to tell you,” Alec nods, a bit warily.

“Yeah, there’s that as well. I take it Ellie told you straight off?”

“That night,” he confirms.

She glances at him. “Ellie’s all right? It’s you I came to speak to, but I did hope to see after her as well.”

“Can’t imagine she’ll last too long in this rain,” Alec replies, craning his neck as he looks around. “She’s all right. Bit thrown. Not thrilled to be dealin’ with the aftermath. I can be quite cranky, you know.”

Jenny smirks. “Always knew you were secretly the jealous type.”

“I did give her permission to snog _you_ if you recall.”

“Yes, you did, and in retrospect I find that extremely impressive,” she replies. “Knowin’ you as I do now.”

He smiles back but his tone becomes more serious. “Took me a bloody long time to find Ellie. Not keen on sharin’ her.”

“Then along come me and Hal to ruin it all,” Jenny replies with a rueful laugh.

“Are _you_ all right?”

Jenny considers her response. “Yeah, ‘m all right. Cross as hell, believe you me, but I suspect we’ll work through it. Been through worse.”

Ellie’s bright orange umbrella comes into view at the very end of the path. “Hiya!” She calls out.

“I married a traffic cone,” Alec says flatly. Jenny smiles at him, then he manages one as well.

“All right, El?” Jenny calls back.

When Ellie reaches the porch, she closes her umbrella and shakes it out on her way up the steps. The baby is wide-eyed now, some of the colour has returned to her cheeks. Turns out the walk in the rain has done her good – the fresh air, the alone time with her mother, so many things to look at it, the distraction of it all has given Aila a bit of her bounce back. Alec stands to get a look at her and to help extricate her from the contraption keeping her strapped to Ellie’s chest.

“How’s my wee darlin’?” He crouches a bit to eye level with her and she smiles placidly at him. “Ah, there she is.” He lifts her into his arms as Ellie divests with the carrier.

“Thought you were to be in Southampton this weekend,” Ellie says, kissing Jenny on the cheek.

“Yeah, well, my husband went and cocked it all up, didn’t he,” Jenny replies.

“He told you then?” Ellie perches on the wooden railing. Jenny nods. “I’m sorry.”

“Naught for _you_ to be sorry for, is there?”

Alec sits back in his chair with the baby, grateful to be holding her for the first time today.

“Still. No fun for any of us,” Ellie says.

“I appreciate you not sackin’ his sorry arse.” She sighs. “We’ll find our way through. Just another bump in the road. But I’m sorry he’s put you both in this position, not his finest hour.” With that, she stands. “Glad we’re all able to have this out together.”

Ellie nods. “Bit of a weight’s lifted now, I’ll admit.” She looks at Alec. “For you?”

“Yeah.” He nods too.

Jenny leans down to the baby’s level. “See you later, you sweet thing you.” Aila just looks at her curiously. “I’m off. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

Alec and Ellie say their goodbyes to Jenny as she walks off the porch and drives away. Then they look at each other wordlessly for a moment.

Alec lets out a breath. “….Wee one’s lookin’ much better.”

“Didn’t I tell you?”

He ignores that. “I’ll see if I can put her down, we’re gettin’ on nap time.”

*

In the house, Ellie finds herself immediately restless despite the long walk she’s just returned from. She demands that Tom switch off his game and that Fred put down his Legos. They’re going to use the baby’s nap time to engage in some much-needed tidying up. Tom is assigned to do the hoovering of the entire downstairs. Fred is to gather all the bins in the house and bring them to the kitchen. When Alec finishes putting Aila down, he is tasked with stripping all the beds and starting the laundry. Ellie herself starts by scrubbing the downstairs loo.

“Not fair Daisy doesn’t have to be a part of this,” Tom grumbles miserably.

“Or Ailie!” Fred chimes in.

Ellie does not dignify either of these comments with a response. With the laundry started, Alec sends himself to the market to shop for Sunday lunch, which is invariably his responsibility. He has settled on Beef and Guinness pie, for which they seem to have only half the necessary ingredients. Ellie also demands that he pick up more wine.

“What kind?”

“Just wine, for god’s sake,” she says.

On the drive to the market, he finds himself thinking less about Hal and Ellie and more about Ellie and Aila.

The way Aila had clung to Ellie. The way she had spurned him. She had looked at him blankly, almost sadly, while gripping a fistful of Ellie’s shirt. And then Ellie had known exactly what to do. He’d thought a walk in the rain with an under the weather eight-month-old was ludicrous. He hadn’t fought it, of course, because what was the use? But he’d fully expected them both to come back drenched and miserable. Instead, Aila was at least two steps closer to her usual bright-eyed, bouncy self.

Is there an _instinct_ he’s missing? What would he have done had Aila been clinging to him instead? What would he have done to cure his daughter of her nebulous ailment? How does Ellie just _know_ these things?

Nearly sixteen consecutive years of primary caregiving, he supposes. If he’d prioritized time with Daisy over time at work, perhaps he’d have the very same instincts. Or perhaps it’s simply maternal versus paternal. Equally valuable but _different_. He has no real way of knowing. But the thoughts fester.

At the market, he roams the aisles, tossing things into his basket. He nods a greeting at Becca Fisher and at CS Jenkinson as he spots them roaming in much the same way. Those last minute Sunday lunch runs. They all have the same slightly sheepish expressions on.

Then, queueing up for the till, Hal appears behind him.

“Hardy,” he says with surprise.

“…Ah – “ Alec looks around as if an escape hatch will somehow materialize. “Yeah, all right?”

“I, um. Funny running into you here.”

“Is it.” He tries to focus on taking the items out of his basket and placing them down on the counter. He smiles briefly at the clerk, so as not to appear rude.

“I know Jenny’s just been ‘round,” Hal says.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry you and I’ve not spoken. I’ve wanted to come by your office and – explain, but the office didn’t seem the right place for it.”

“But the office seemed the right place to kiss my wife?” Alec retorts, one eyebrow raised in his direction. He hands the clerk his credit card.

“No,” Hal answers quickly, guiltily. “Nothing about that was right. I do know that, you know.”

“Good for you.”

Alec takes his receipt and starts to walk away with his bags as Hal unloads the few things from his basket.

“Will you – will you just wait a minute? I want to apologize.”

Alec waits impatiently by the door.

“Hardy, I’m sorry.”

Alec finds himself shaking his head in frustration. “You were at our weddin’, Hal. You were there when Ellie went into labor. Dunno _how_ many times you and Jenny’ve been ‘round for dinner. Not as if you’re aware that Ellie and I have a – _happy_ marriage.”

“I know that. I know. I was out of my head at the time, I wasn’t thinking,” Hal replies. He then takes his bag. He and Alec walk out of the shop together and stand outside on the corner. “Dunno when exactly my feelings for Ellie began to…develop, I guess. Just a bit of a crush at first, you know, a work crush. Everyone has them.”

“Yeah,” Alec replies gruffly. “Mine was Ellie.”

Hal almost chuckles. “Guess work crushes on Ellie tend to evolve into something more serious, eh?”

Alec simply stares at him.

“Anyway.” Hal shifts his weight anxiously. “She has a certain quality about her, you know? When she looks at you. She’s got this…openness to her. She’s _listening_ , right, she _cares_. She makes you feel like whatever you’re feeling is _valid_ , whatever you’ve got on is – is _okay_ , is gonna be okay.”

Alec feels like his feet are glued to the pavement. There’s a fury rising in him but there’s also…empathy? A common understanding. Hal is right now putting something to words that he’s always known but never before heard or said.

“And she’s _accessible_ , and not like ‘cause she’s average or anythin’, she’s far better than most of us, just like she’s…with you when she’s _with_ you. She’s present. And honest,” Hal continues. Then he looks briefly at his shoes. “S’pose I just find that sort of thing…intoxicating. And in that moment I guess it was too powerful for me to stop it. But it was wrong, it was unfair, and I’m very sorry. Truly am.”

There’s an agonizing silence that follows. Then Alec begins shift _his_ weight.

“Yeah, right,” he nods, noncommittally. “Yeah.”

It’s strange but he feels oddly _grateful_ that someone else sees that in Ellie. He’s proud to be married to someone like that, to someone who can make people feel that way. It’s sort of annoying also, to be fair, because like so many things about Ellie, he wants it to be his alone. But there’s something freeing about being able to _relate_ to someone in this way.

“Right,” Alec says again. “Well. You’re not to do it ever again.”

“No, of course.”

“No matter how… ‘powerful’ it seems.”

“Right.”

“….Good then.” Alec starts to walk in the other direction. “See you Monday.”

As he opens his car door, he spots Jimmy Laughton, one of the two men Ellie slept with while he was gone from Broadchurch, strolling the sidewalk in the opposite direction. He grumbles a few obscenities under his breath, then lowers himself into the driver’s seat.

*

Once Aila is awake again, Ellie and Tom spend the early afternoon tidying the upstairs. Tom has quite a lot of work to do on his own bedroom. Fred is tasked with cleaning his room as well, though Ellie mostly hears him quietly voicing his superhero figurines from inside.

Alec stays downstairs with Aila, watching her crawl around curiously as he folds laundry. When Aila goes down for her second nap of the day, Alec begins preparing Sunday lunch. Soon, Ellie comes into the kitchen to check on him, following the scent of Guinness pie.

“Coming along nicely,” she says, peeking over his shoulder.

He opens the oven and pops the baking dish inside, then sets a timer. He grabs a beer out of the fridge, opens it, then leans against the counter.

“Guess who I ran into at the market.”

“Lady Gaga.”

“ _Hal_.”

“ _Oh_.” Ellie’s eyes widen. “Really?”

As he regards her, he remembers every word Hal said to him about her. Her openness, her honesty, her compassion, her ability to make everything seem okay. He puts the beer down on the counter and swiftly glides toward her, taking her in his arms and kissing her fervently. She makes a little surprised noise, then reciprocates, her arms circling his waist. She’s breathless when he pulls his lips away.

She glances from his eyes to his lips then back again. “What was that for?”

“Only natural others might fall for you,” he says, holding her tightly to him. “You are…….magic.”

Her cheeks grow pink. “ _Oh_.”

He kisses her once more, this time softly. Then she touches his cheek.

“Feeling a bit better now?”

He kisses underneath her eye, then her temple, down to her jaw. Apparently this is his answer. She closes her eyes and tilts her head to the side as his lips make their way down her throat.

“You’re lovely,” he mumbles.

“Gosh, what _has_ he gone and said to you,” Ellie laughs quietly.

“He made quite a fair point,” Alec replies, finally looking at her again. “About just how worthy you are of bein’ kissed.”

She smiles, then raises an eyebrow. “Interesting how you’ve managed to keep that inside for the last four hours since you’ve been back.”

“Gave me much to think about.” He buries his face in her neck.

She rocks him a little, instinctively, as her hand goes to the back of his skull and scratches at his scalp.

“D’you know who else I saw,” Alec says quietly into her collarbone.

“Hmm.”

“What’s-his-face, the Laughton bloke.”

Ellie straightens. “My, what a day.”

“Cunt-faced bastard.”

She pulls back a little to look at him, laughing. “All right now.”

“He’s even worse than Hal is.”

“No he isn’t! I was free as a bird when Jimmy and I shagged,” Ellie rebuts. “Well within his rights to seduce me, he was.”

Alec scoffs. “ _Seduce you_.”

“He did. Really wooed me, that one did.” She pats his chest. “Had me out of my clothes in under two hours.”

He pulls out of her arms and goes for his beer sitting on the counter. Ellie laughs.

“You brought it up!” She argues.

“Don’t see me braggin’ about all the women _I_ shagged before you,” he grumbles with a pout.

“There _were_ no women before me!” Ellie exclaims back. “Well, between me and Tess.”

“There could have been.”

“ _Alec_.”

She tries to pull him back into her arms. He resists her. She sighs. “You should’ve given Zoe a shag.”

He frowns hard at her. “What.”

“Yeah, should’ve given Tinder Girl a good ole shag during the Winterman case, you’d have felt better. Been less of a prick even.”

Alec never ceases to marvel at the way jealousy seems never to play a part in her emotional life. He shrugs awkwardly and stares at the beer in his hands.

“Wouldn’t’ve been any good.”

“Oh now why d’you say that?”

He looks up at her incredulously. “Because I was in love with somebody _else_ ,” he replies, a bit too loudly.

Ellie smiles impishly and sits down at the kitchen table. “Surely you could’ve gotten it up for a pretty girl.”

He rolls his eyes. “Gotten it up maybe, but then what.”

Ellie is grinning now. It’s infuriating. “You tell _me_.”

“I couldn’t have slept with Zoe,” he says firmly.

“Why not.”

He hates that, in the spirit of honesty, he has to tell her exactly what she wants to hear even though she’s driving him mad at the moment. “Because I’d have been thinkin’ of _you_ the whole bloody time,” he answers. “Now come off it.”

“Would you have gone down on her?” Ellie asks, unperturbed.

“Christ, Ellie.” She’s not even drunk. She is just purely delighted by this conversational right turn and he cannot fathom why. “How does this not bother you? Should I be concerned?”

She chuckles. “Course not. I find the idea of you and other women sort of sexy, honestly. _In the past_ , of course.”

He puts the beer down and reaches for the scotch on the top shelf of the cupboard, causing her to laugh again.

“I have you all to myself _now_ and forevermore,” she continues. “So why should I be bothered? You’re quite sexy so it’s quite sexy to imagine you having sex.”

He pours a finger of scotch into a glass. Does not offer her any. She gets up from her chair and goes to the counter, grabbing his abandoned beer and taking a swig. _Crafty_ , he thinks with some light disdain.

“How would you have done it?” She asks, leaning against the counter. “How would you do it with a one night stand? Or a casual something?”

“How would I _do_ it.”

“Yes, Alec, how would you do it,” Ellie repeats, both amused and slightly impatient.

If Tess had asked him a similar question ten years ago (she wouldn’t have), he would never have answered it. But he’s become much more open about sex in a lot of ways since Ellie. He’s so close to her that he doesn’t find it so embarrassing to discuss – though he might find it a bit _annoying_ in moments like this.

“From behind probably,” he replies grudgingly, taking a sip of his scotch. “Couldn’t look at her face.”

She smirks. “ _Cold_.”

He shakes his head at her. “Is it cold when _we_ do it from behind?”

Ellie laughs. “Well, you often feel like you need to go down on me after because it wasn’t intimate enough.”

Alec blushes a bit. “Got our kids in the next room.”

“They’ve got bloody headphones on playing that sodding video game, they’re fine.” She takes a sip of her ill-gotten beer. “It really is so funny, you know, ‘cause when I met you I never thought you’d be so thirsty for intimacy.”

Alec finds himself smirking, leaning back against the counter and folding his arms across his chest. “Oh and what _did_ you think. _When you met me._ ”

Ellie realizes her mistake and smiles sheepishly. “Thought you’d be light on the stamina frankly. And very vanilla.”

“And I proved you wrong, didn’t I.” He’s starting to enjoy this conversation.

“That very first night,” Ellie affirms.

He nods and holds up his glass as if to toast himself. “I made you come _how_ many times?”

“Three.” She bats her eyelashes coquettishly.

“So, not so light on the stamina.”

“Well. I got you _post_ -pacemaker.”

“How did you do it with _him_ ,” he finds himself asking, to his horror.

Ellie blinks at him. “Who? Jimmy Laughton?”

She’s met with silence.

“Um.” She throws back a swig of the beer. “From behind, against a wall. As I recall. Then he took me to bed and fingered me.”

Alec’s face turns stony. The _audacity_ of another man to _touch_ her there…utterly outrageous.

“Took him a good while to get me off, no need to be jealous,” she adds nonchalantly.

He places his glass back down on the counter. “Dunno why we’re discussin’ this.”

“Just a bit of fun,” Ellie says with a shrug. “Sort of wonder what it would’ve been like if we’d shagged earlier.”

He pauses. “What.”

“Back when we shouldn’t’ve. If we’d had a _casual_ shag.”

“No such thing as a casual shag for us, Ellie,” Alec tells her solemnly. “Never would’ve been like that.”

“Never?”

“No.” He seems enormously disgruntled, finishing off the last of his scotch. “Even before I knew I was in love with you, I still – it still woudn’t’ve been – “

“All right.” She puts her beer bottle down and goes to him, running her hands up and down the length of his arms. “It’s all right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” he insists, though his demeanor suggests otherwise.

“The _what ifs_ are fun for me,” she admits a bit shyly. “I’m sorry, I know they’re not for you.”

He relents a bit. “They’re not…….. _not_.”

“It’s all right. I love you.” She presses her lips to his, as a sort of apology.

Now he’s feeling oddly guilty. “I love you too.” His hands rest at her hips and he squeezes them. “…I just can’t imagine a casual shag.”

Ellie nods.

He continues. “I can’t imagine not…feelin’ all the things I feel for you.”

She nods again. “I know, love.”

He looks at her silently, trying to analyze her expression and her behavior these last few minutes. “…Sort of a kink for you, isn’t it?”

Ellie appears a bit thrown. “What?”

“The _what ifs_.”

“Oh. Um.” She purses her lips in thought. “Perhaps? Never thought about it that way.” She slips away from him again and finishes the last of the beer. He watches her curiously. “There’s just so many ways it might’ve happened for us. Find it all very interesting.”

“And sort of arousing,” he surmises.

She blushes as she smiles, looking down. “I s’pose.”

With a smile that’s somehow both timid and sly, he reaches for her waist and pulls her in again. She looks up at him expectantly, cheeks still flushed.

“So what if,” he begins slowly. “One of those late nights workin’ on the Latimer case, both exhausted and wired, we just…shut the door to my office, closed the blinds and…”

“ _Oh_.” A smile both timid and sly now appears on _her_ face as she slides her arms up around his neck. “Mm. Mm-hmm.”

“Before we knew it the clothes had come off…”

She squints a bit, nodding. “How. How did the clothes come off…”

“I’d suddenly be out of my mind with desire and ignoring my better angels I start kissin’ you. And then unbuttonin’ your blouse.”

“Uh huh and I reach for your belt…”

They’re impossible close now, his lips at her ear, her breath on his neck.

“At the first reveal of your bra, I bury myself in your tits, my mouth all over them.”

She nods. “My hand slips into your fly and when I touch you you’re already hard.”

His hands start to roam her back, then slide up underneath her shirt. “Hard for you,” he says.

“Oh god,” Ellie exhales, pressing her breasts into his chest.

“I unclasp your bra and suck on your – “

The old familiar _Mumma Daddy Mumma Daddy Mumma Daddy_ accompanied by tiny rapid footsteps is heard. Painfully, they break apart just as Fred appears in the doorway to the kitchen. Alec quickly grabs an oven mit and holds it in front of his crotch.

“Mumma Daddy.”

They’re both breathing heavily, staring at the floor.

“I need a snack.”

Taking a deep breath, Ellie looks up. “We’ll be eating soon, little love, you’ll have to wait.”

“But I’m hungry _now_ ,” Fred whines.

“Lad,” Alec says sternly, placing a shaky hand on his hips. “You heard your mother.”

“FINE.”

Fred stomps out of the room again.

“Jesus,” Ellie says, laughing with relief and dropping her head against his chest.

He tosses the oven mit onto the counter. “Forgot we were in the kitchen for a minute.”

“Me too.”

“That was – “

“Yeah.”

“Oddly – “

“ _Yeah_.”

“Huh.”

“Uh huh.”

She looks up at him, biting her lip.

“…We should do that again sometime,” he suggests quietly

“ _Oh_ yeah.”

*

Late that evening, Alec sits up in bed, reading with his glasses perched on his nose. Ellie walks over to her side while rubbing moisturizer on her face.

“So I take it you’ll not have any more bad dreams tonight then,” she says, lifting the duvet and crawling into bed beside him.

“Bloody well better not,” he grumbles.

She plugs her mobile into the charger on her nightstand. She glances at the screen. “Jenny says they’ve had it out. Moving on, she says.”

“Good for them.” He doesn’t look up.

Ellie turns onto her side and watches him for a moment. Then she weakly slaps his arm with the back of her hand. “Seriously, you feeling better about it all?”

He glances over at her, over the rim of his glasses. “One of my subordinates kissed my wife, I’m never goin’ to feel _good_ about it.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Yes,” he sighs. “Feel a bit better about it.”

“Good then.” She turns to lie on her back, fluffing up the pillow underneath her. “No more handjobs in the wee hours.”

“Well.” He places the book down in his lap. “Not sayin’ it’s _impossible_ there'll be a nightmare…”

She whacks his arm without even looking at him. “Wanker.”

He smiles, pulling his glasses off and turning to her. “Yes, I am…” He inches closer and fingers the waistband of her pyjamas pants.

Ellie gives him no resistance. She lies back happily and parts her thighs.

He smirks. “You’ve just been waitin’ for this haven’t you.”

She smiles cockily back at him. “Ever since I told you about Jimmy Laughton fingering me, yes.”

His hand slips into her knickers. “You’re terrible.”

“I know.” She closes her eyes, the smile remains painted on her face.

“Awful.” He cups her as he snuggles in closer to her, settling in.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Unbelievably naughty.” He gently begins to stroke her clit.

“Ahhh-uh huh.”

He leans down and bites into her shoulder. Her legs part even wider for him and he slowly plunges a finger inside her.

“Oh god,” she gasps.

“That’s right,” Alec says, briefly sucking the skin he’s just bit into. “Jimmy Laughton can rightly go off and fuck himself.”

“I’m sure he is,” Ellie replies breathlessly, biting her lip. He crooks his finger inside her and she bucks her hip. “I’ve got _you_ to fuck _me_.”

He lifts her t-shirt and takes her nipple in his mouth as his thumb rubs a little more insistently at her clit.

“Say it again,” he murmurs.

“Fuck me.”

He slides another finger in until she’s moaning and arching her back. He briefly amuses himself thinking that Hal Grant will _never, ever_ get to touch her like this. Hear her like this. Watch her writhe under his hand. He watches her cry out while he’s got her nipple between his teeth, muscles contracting around his fingers, and he feels an immense pride and satisfaction. When she falls asleep in his arms, sated and quite cuddly, he feels truly relaxed for the first time in over a week.

And then the baby cries.

***


End file.
